Could someone please read that to the Prezident?
Yes $4 gas. Big friggin surprise.
I actually almost died. The Prez almos killed me. I choked and couldn't breathe from the paroxisms of laughter when I heard the speech regarding the non-recessionary stylings of our economy.
A reporter asked him what advice he'd give an average American who is hurting now... facing $4 gallon gas... and his response was framed by the look of utter bewilderment on his face.
"Waitaminna.. whatya just say? You're predicting $4 a gallon gasoline?"
"A number of analysts are predicting $4 a gallon this spring when they reformulate..."
"Ohyeah?" (shrugs, rolls eyes, imitates deer in headlights pose), "That's interesting... I, I hadn't heard that."
"Yes sir."
"Yep.... I, I know it's high now."
Well, that was 2/28/2008
5/22/2008 .... gas AVERAGES in Alaska, California, Conn., Hawaii, Illinois, Mich., and NY state are all over $4.... and the rest are following close.
Do you George? Do you really? I don't think you do. I think that White house staffers have been filling the limos you ride in with premium using the taxpayer's credit card.
Not that it matters... you know the old joke "I should have stock in [fill in the billionaire corporate giant here]". In George W.'s situation, he actually does own stock in it. Carlyle group and a handful of millionaire gas lobbyists probably owe GWB a few million dollars worth of gasoline.
I bet you he's got a platinum, no-limit, all-stations, never-get-a-bill gas-card waiting for him on his last day in office... as a gift from his buddies.
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Vain hopes - of salvaging my life from the frustration that envelops me - have forced me to try to write my thoughts down... in an effort to keep me from utter despair.
International Kitten Hurling
The Kitten Hurl is a traditional Northern English athletic event involving the hurling of a small adolescent furry animal called a kitten, similar in size and shape to a badger.
There are no uniform standards for kittens specifying length, weight, color of fur, density, circumference, etc. In general, the kittens used in competitions vary in all these characteristics with each Yorkshire Games contestant having their own set of kittens. Typically, a contestant will have several kittens varying in length and weight, with the larger, heavier implements being used for the Professional or top class event and the shorter, lighter kittens being used for either qualifying for the top class or for the Amateur class. Others, smaller and lighter yet, might used for the women's and junior classes if the Games event features such competitions.
To hurl the kitten, the thrower first cups their hands together. The kitten is then held vertically with the 'bottom' end in the thrower's cupped hands. Continuing to hold the kitten vertically (which requires a good deal of careful balance), the thrower runs forward and tosses the kitten into the air so that it turns 180° end-over-end in the air and lands on the former 'top' end. Because the kitten still has angular momentum, the former 'bottom' end then (hopefully) falls forward and away from the thrower.
Though less popular and more secretive, it is widely believed that the English Kitten Hurl is the older and more dignified version of the Scottish Caber Toss. Some contestants do compete in both fields.
There are no uniform standards for kittens specifying length, weight, color of fur, density, circumference, etc. In general, the kittens used in competitions vary in all these characteristics with each Yorkshire Games contestant having their own set of kittens. Typically, a contestant will have several kittens varying in length and weight, with the larger, heavier implements being used for the Professional or top class event and the shorter, lighter kittens being used for either qualifying for the top class or for the Amateur class. Others, smaller and lighter yet, might used for the women's and junior classes if the Games event features such competitions.
To hurl the kitten, the thrower first cups their hands together. The kitten is then held vertically with the 'bottom' end in the thrower's cupped hands. Continuing to hold the kitten vertically (which requires a good deal of careful balance), the thrower runs forward and tosses the kitten into the air so that it turns 180° end-over-end in the air and lands on the former 'top' end. Because the kitten still has angular momentum, the former 'bottom' end then (hopefully) falls forward and away from the thrower.
Though less popular and more secretive, it is widely believed that the English Kitten Hurl is the older and more dignified version of the Scottish Caber Toss. Some contestants do compete in both fields.