Mother of poorly raised daughter who believed that pregnancy out of wedlock only happened to poor minorities.
Gun-toting redneck of the frozen white north.
Murderer and eater of caribou, wolves and polar bears.
A believer in a fictitious deity who may have been the absentee father of some Hispanic guy named Jesus (who may or may not have been born to a woman who "said" she was a virgin so that her boyfriend wouldn't leave her).
One of the millions of poor deluded fools who believe that global warming is a left-wing conspiracy.
Anti-choice, anti-condom, and anti-education.
Uneducated about most of the very important things a leader should know.
.... But she does look a hell of a lot like Tina Fey. I wish I could vote just so I could make her the VP so that Tina Fey could play her on an SNL skit about the government. It'd be worth a hundred years of war, countless casualties, and the largest debt in the history of mankind with a crypt-keeper President just so we could see more of Tina Fey. Tina Fey is funny.
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
Vain hopes - of salvaging my life from the frustration that envelops me - have forced me to try to write my thoughts down... in an effort to keep me from utter despair.
International Kitten Hurling
The Kitten Hurl is a traditional Northern English athletic event involving the hurling of a small adolescent furry animal called a kitten, similar in size and shape to a badger.
There are no uniform standards for kittens specifying length, weight, color of fur, density, circumference, etc. In general, the kittens used in competitions vary in all these characteristics with each Yorkshire Games contestant having their own set of kittens. Typically, a contestant will have several kittens varying in length and weight, with the larger, heavier implements being used for the Professional or top class event and the shorter, lighter kittens being used for either qualifying for the top class or for the Amateur class. Others, smaller and lighter yet, might used for the women's and junior classes if the Games event features such competitions.
To hurl the kitten, the thrower first cups their hands together. The kitten is then held vertically with the 'bottom' end in the thrower's cupped hands. Continuing to hold the kitten vertically (which requires a good deal of careful balance), the thrower runs forward and tosses the kitten into the air so that it turns 180° end-over-end in the air and lands on the former 'top' end. Because the kitten still has angular momentum, the former 'bottom' end then (hopefully) falls forward and away from the thrower.
Though less popular and more secretive, it is widely believed that the English Kitten Hurl is the older and more dignified version of the Scottish Caber Toss. Some contestants do compete in both fields.
There are no uniform standards for kittens specifying length, weight, color of fur, density, circumference, etc. In general, the kittens used in competitions vary in all these characteristics with each Yorkshire Games contestant having their own set of kittens. Typically, a contestant will have several kittens varying in length and weight, with the larger, heavier implements being used for the Professional or top class event and the shorter, lighter kittens being used for either qualifying for the top class or for the Amateur class. Others, smaller and lighter yet, might used for the women's and junior classes if the Games event features such competitions.
To hurl the kitten, the thrower first cups their hands together. The kitten is then held vertically with the 'bottom' end in the thrower's cupped hands. Continuing to hold the kitten vertically (which requires a good deal of careful balance), the thrower runs forward and tosses the kitten into the air so that it turns 180° end-over-end in the air and lands on the former 'top' end. Because the kitten still has angular momentum, the former 'bottom' end then (hopefully) falls forward and away from the thrower.
Though less popular and more secretive, it is widely believed that the English Kitten Hurl is the older and more dignified version of the Scottish Caber Toss. Some contestants do compete in both fields.